The Best Thing I Ever Did with My Kids

I suffer from "nature deficit". I have known this for a long time but could never acurately describe it or put a name on it until I read the book called Last Child in the Woods by Richard Louv. I am working my way sloooowwly through it and savoring it as I go. After I finish reading it, I plan to re-read it and highlight the portions that speak to me.

In the book, he makes a connection between "nature deficit" in children and the rise of all kinds of ADHD-type disorders. I think he might be on to something there. In my case, I grew up in a private house with a yard and my brother and I spent more time outdoors as kids than we did indoors. We also went a few times a week to one or the other of the many wonderful public park in the CA Bay Area and were also very "in to" camping as a family and did that for long stretches a couple of times a year. So we didn't have to "find" nature. It was all around us, even if a lot of the time it was cultivated nature (yards, parks, etc.) and we didn't have to go far to find it.

I remember going camping once when I was about 9 with my family. The day came when it was time to pack up and go home. I will never forget the strong desire I felt then to just burst out sobbing and of choking back the tears. Not that the vacation and fun time was over but because I had to leave all that quiet, beauty, solitude. And I remember being a little bit shocked that my reaction to the quiet, beauty and solitude was SO strong and wondering if that was normal. Also, as a kid, my secret desire was to be a forest ranger.

The  nature deficit started when I moved to Israel as an adult. Sometimes I wonder if I'm not at least borderline ADD (that's 'attention deficit' without the hyperactive part). My oldest daughter most definitely is ADD.

I am so in love with this book that I feel like typing it all out here but a) that's illegal and b) I don't have time. Suffice to say that on Monday, after two days of hellish heat, the weather was absolute perfection. What I call "perfect California weather". Pleasantly cool, brisk breeze, warm sun and not a hint of humidity. It was too perfect not to take advantage of and the message of the aforementioned book gave me the push I needed to try something with my kids that I'm usually too reluctant to give up my precious naptime to try - to take my kids to "find" nature. It was an experiment of sorts on my part - to see how much this contact with nature would affect my kids (and myself) - or not. Would they respond/connect? After only one excursion? To what extent would they respond?

We live about a 10 minute walk from the eastern edge of Rehovot and once you reach the edge you find open fields of wild wheat and oats and orange groves and cacti (how come the plural of "cactus" isn't "cactuses"???) criss-crossed by sandy one-lane tracks. Yesterday I packed up the kids, got out the baby backpack for E to ride in (he refused, of course) and schlepped them over there on foot. Y had gotten a mosquito bite on her arm the night before. She is terribly allergic - swells up like a sausage - and she was crying and wailing the whole way, "I wanna go hoooooooommme!" So I was trying to cajole her into continuing, all the while carrying E. Fun, right? So we got to the ring road that goes around the eastern edge of Rehovot, crossed the road, and the MINUTE we set foot on the dirt road that took us down a short incline and past the orange groves on both sides of the track, Y forgot all about her bite for the next TWO hours of the two mile circuitous route we took through the fields. The instant she stepped off the sidewalk and onto the dirt track, she was crouched down calling me over excitedly to inspect some interesting insect she'd found and that's the way the entire 2 hours that followed went. She was as good as gold, didn't complain once, she was happy and talkative and kept saying, "Ima, it's SO BEAUTIFUL here. What a beautiful view! I love this place!"

We had fun trying to identify the animal tracks. I showed her how to identify bird tracks (three toes forward, one back) and horse tracks. We saw other smaller tracks which we guessed were made by some sort of beetle and then later on we actually saw a big black beetle making the tracks. We saw an old pile of horse manure and I asked her if she knew what it was. She told me what it was and why it had lots of grass in it and then launched into this whole explanation about how dung beetles lay their eggs in it and then roll it up into balls and put them somewhere safe and when the baby beetles hatch they eat it. Don't ask me where she got THAT from but it wasn't from me.

We saw plenty of ant holes. One was quite big - about the size of a dime - with large ants rushing in and out the front door, each carrying a large clump of bright red earth which they would dump in a pile on the "doormat" and then rush back in to get another one. E was fascinated by that and nearly stood on his head to get his eyeball right up near the hole and see just where those funny ants were rushing back and forth to/from! We also found a sturdy stick for E that he used like a walking stick and he was thoroughly enjoyed mosey-ing down the sandy track hitting the sand with it and going, "Bash, bash, bash!" I told him to get all the bashing out of his system then and there. LOL.

The kids found a few ladybugs and Y had fun letting them crawl on her hand so of course E wanted to also. I told Y to put the ladybug on his hand and it tickled him so he shook it off immediately. He went to pick it up out of the sand and accidentally smushed it :-( It's interesting that as terrified as Y is of insects because of her mosquito bite allergy, she has NO qualms about handling a ladybug. She knows they won't hurt her. We LOVE ladybugs. Ladybugs have sort of been my kids' mascot since T was a baby.

We found a line of ants marching across the track busily carrying grains of wheat. On either side of the track at this point there had been fields of it growing but it had recently been mown and was still lying there - I assume drying. So we went and examined a stalk of wheat and I showed Y how the grains of wheat grow inside. We also found a stalk of wild oats and compared that to the wheat.

The large purple thistle blossoms have now all dried up and exploded with seed parachutes, so we had fun pulling tufts of those out of the flower head and letting them fly away.

Y asked me a million questions about things - not all of which I could answer. It was nice to see her "exercising" her curiosity!

We passed a very few other people out for a nature walk like we were but not many.

At one point, Y stopped dead still, closed her eyes and told me to shush. Then she told me every sound she could hear - the cars in the distance, a distant tractor plowing, the wind, the birds and a cricket. Then she told me to close my eyes and tell her what I heard. By the end of the walk, she really really was awake, alive, tuned in, hyperaware. She was noticing interesting things here and there that even I wouldn't have noticed. That is what is missing for me and I think for my kids also although they probably don't realize it because they don't know any other way of living. They have never lived in a house with a yard. This part of the book Last Child in the Woods really leaped out at me:

"Ideally, a child learns to negotiate both city and country. Mastering each environment builds the senses and common sense. Is there something special about the experience in nature, at least a quality that sharpens a young person's senses? Wonderful possibilities await researchers wanting to explore that unknown frontier. Surely the width and depth of nature, the added mystery - the catalogue of sounds and smells and sights - is larger than the relatively short and known list of urban stimulations. In the city or suburb, much of our energy is spent blocking sounds and stimulants. Do we actually hear the honking of cabs - do we want to? In a forest, our ears are open - the honking of geese overhead enlivens us, and when enlivened, human senses grow and develop."

This paragraph hit me between the eyes when I read it. THAT'S IT! I feel like I spend SO much time blocking the unpleasant/unaesthetic/jarring sounds, sights, smells where we live that everything gets blocked out. When we were out in the fields, I had to strain to hear the tractor and strain to hear the distant traffic so I had to "switch on" whereas normally, those would be things I would work hard to block because there's just too much of it going on around me where we live and it just grates on me.

I have to say that this nature walk with the kids was one of the most enjoyable and memorable things I have ever done with the kids and I hope to do it again soon.

Head's Stuck to the Computer.....

I have had my head stuck to my computer at work since 9:30 this morning. It's now 13:25 (aka lunchtime) so I'm taking a break to eat/blog.

What about? Hmmm. Not sure. All bloggers say that the main thing is to write something even if inspiration is lacking. So here I am.

Last night was fun. NOT. I went to sleep around 12:30 or 1 am (I know, I know - stupid). At 2:30 E woke both of us up crying. DH went to see what was wrong. I'll spare you all the "backing and forthing" that went on. Suffice to say he seemed to be hungry despite having downed TWO (2) bowls of pasta at dinner time. So at 2:30 am it ended up taking him AN HOUR to eat ONE (1) banana and get himself back to sleep. Yes. Fun fun. So needless to say I was not a happy person when the alarm clock went off this morning.

DH was out last night at the play rehearsal. I realized last night that I don't even know when the performance(s) are. Anyway, he goes out about 2 nights a week for rehearsals. I asked T to look after the little ones for me and get them in bed and I went out for a long walk (1 1/2 hours!!). It was great. When I got back the kids were down so I had a little computer time and Skyped my Dad who wasn't home but had a chat with his wife.

Going to Mom's tonight to help her with whatever she needs done. Don't know which of my offspring, if any, will come with me.

I may have mentioned that some whacking great big monstrosities of apt. buildings will be going up very soon smack dab across the road from our building. Until now there has been open, uncultivated land over there and every spring we have had a view of these fields of yellow flowers and green for just about as far as you can see. About 3 days ago the tractors and dirt shifters rolled in and the green and flowers is GONE. Instead of gently rolling land, it's being leveled. I am SO DISGUSTED.



This picture was taken last night from the parking lot of our building. The road there is barely two lanes....spitting distance.

 I guess because to me it just smacks of greed. Lately, the city, or whoever, seems to just be throwing up huge hi-rise apt. buildings wherever they can squeeze one in with no thought to population density or how X more people moving in will affect parking in the city (which is already scarce) or traffic into and out of the city or peoples' need for green spaces. The apt. buildings that are nearing the final stages about 2 blocks down from us are built RIGHT on the road. I mean you have the width of the sidewalk and boom - the building is RIGHT there. No green space or any kind of landscaping in front of the building whatsoever. I mean, who wants their living room window to be ON the sidewalk? Or their bedroom window? Or to have traffic rushing back and forth underneath their balcony if they live on the higher floors? The noise, the smell........doesn't even seem like it should be legal to me. And the buildings themselves.......so boring/unattractive/unimaginative.......makes me sick. I mean, really. HELLO!

On another note, E learned to say "O my goodness!" and "Gosh!" And he usually strings them together. Like when I'm changing his poopy diaper and we're having a "discussion" about how much poop there is, he'll go, "O goodness! Gosh!" Too funny. Last night in one of his reasonably human moments, he was being affectionate towards DH and DH said, "Look at him. He looks like butter would melt in his mouth. But we know he's a little devil!" Aren't those cheeks just too delicious for words?

Up to My Ears....

Work lately has been WHOOOOOOA busy for me......I'm up to my eyeballs. This is a Good Thing. I'd much rather be crazy busy at work than be sitting here twiddling my thumbs. Not only that, the kids have been on vacation from school since Friday for Passover break so Y is here at work with me today and she has been a BIG help - scanning things, copying things, etc. So at least there aren't TWO of us bored here today.

Having Y here with me generally slows me down but I have to say that I have gotten a lot done today after feeling for the last week or so like I was spinning my wheels and so totally overwhelmed that it was hard to focus on any one thing for long.

Y likes to come to work with me because there are a number of restaurants here in the Science Park where I work that the company I work for has an "arrangement" with and that we can eat at. So for Y it's lunch out with Ima (Mommy) time...

I was home on Thursday due to feeling a little under the weather. I used the day to get my postage stamp sized laundry room cleaned out which I'd been dreading. It was long overdue. I threw out tons of junk and mopped the floor in there and now it's really a pleasure to be in there, small as it is.

T is also home from school for a good long while now. It's nice having her home. It's helpful just knowing we can leave the little ones home with her in a pinch if we need to run out or whatever. And she LOVES to cook so when she's home we eat VERY well.

I have recently learned the rudiments of beaded jewelry and found some patterns online so I have been going to town making bracelets and pendants for myself. It's SO much fun and does work out cheaper making these things myself than were I to buy myself a new piece of jewelry but a) I have to find time to work on it when there isn't much time left after the kids go down and b) it is NOT a cheap hobby - although I tell myself that it's cheaper than a therapist. Ha.

Last night DH was out so the kids and I watched 2 episodes of Perfect Strangers - something we all like and can agree on. E willingly got into bed at 9 pm when I told him to then proceeded to pop out 2 or 3 times. I put him straight back in bed and then sat down in the doorway of his room and ignored him. I was watching him out of the corner of my eye. I watched him flop one leg over the side of his bed while looking at me with a cheeky grin like, "Whatcha gonna do about it, huh?" I just gave him a stern look and said "No" very firmly. Then - oooops - the other leg flopped out of the bed and dangled over the side.  And another look of "And whatcha gonna do about THAT, huh?" Just daring me. Checking to see how serious about this going to bed stuff I was. He flipped and flopped in his bed for 20 minutes and finally fell asleep. Whew! Not TOO bad.

The Rehovot Walk

On Friday, the Rehovot municipality sponsored a "Rehovot Walk". It was free and there was a 5 km route or an 8 km route that you could go on. I talked DH into doing this with me. The weather was PERFECT - mini-heat wave, in fact - and it's a gorgeous time of the year. EVERYTHING is in bloom and the whole country smells heavenly if you're anywhere near open, uncultivated land. The walk started off at the small orange grove museum near where I work. We parked the car in the lot there, picked up a map of the route and a couple bottles of free water they were handing out and started off at 8 a.m. We did the longer 8 km (~5 mile) route and finished up at 10 a.m. near the cemetery where they had a mini-bus waiting to take people back to the starting point and their cars.

It was SO wonderful to be in the great outdoors, to feel small and sense the hum of life and activity all around us even if we couldn't see it. The birds and the bees and the ants and the lizards and the rabbits and the snakes......

Enjoy the pics! There are a couple here that came out so good that I would love to have them blown up and framed.

On the way to the starting point. These fields are about a 10 minute walk from our apartment.



Thistle blossom



THIS way!





Orange tree

The starting point at the orange museum.

The banner says "Rehovot Walk" and the blue boxes are bottles of water that they were handing out for free.

Orange tree in bloom.

Sabra cactus (aka prickly pear). Native Israelis are known as "sabras" b/c they're all prickles on the outside and sweet on the inside.

Those fruits ARE edible - believe it or not - if you want to tangle with the prickles.

On the grounds of the world-reknowned Weizmann Science Institute which is down the block from where we live. I was told these buildings are used for science experiments.

A Holocaust memorial on the grounds of the Weizmann Science Institute. It is a massive log in the shape of a Torah scroll and etched into it are the numbers that were tatooed on the arms of all those who were put into the concentration camps for extermination.

The wonderfully green and cool cultivated grounds of the Science Institute.

Dr. Chaim Weizmann - the 1st president of Israel and after whom the Science Institute is named -  and his wife are buried on the grounds. This is their grave marker.

A 1952 Lincoln - the car of Dr. Chaim Weizmann, the first president.

How nice! A youth orchestra playing rousing marching music on the corner a few blocks down from where we lived. They serenaded us as we walked past.

Monstrous apt. buildings a few blocks away from us. Hate them! But the flowers are nice.....



Not-yet-ripe carob pods.



Horse shoe tracks....

Olive trees.

Avocado trees. Wild? Planted by someone at some point? Who knows?



Avocado.



Is this picture perfect or what?

Newly mown field. Breathe deeply!

Bus after bus after bus of school kids were bused here to participate in the walk. This is the endpoint and the buses are waiting to take them back.

And another "funny" from Y:

Y: Ima (mother/mom), you know what's the difference between boys and girls?

Me: What?

Y: 1) Boys can't grow babies in their tummys and 2) Only girls have privates. Boys have "bulbuls" (childish term for "penis"). That's it!

What? THAT'S IT?!

Yesterday, after MONTHS of only agreeing to eat white pita bread with chocolate spread in it for her school lunches, Y informed us that from now on she wants w/w bread with tuna and sliced tomatoes in it AND half a cucumber in a bag and sliced yellow bell peppers. Where did THAT come from? (Maybe had something to do with the recent slew of dental appointments she's just finished with to fill cavities in about 12 of her teeth despite us making sure that she brushes her teeth every night.) Music to my ears.....never thought I'd live to see the day. We're talking about Little Miss Fussy.

We woke up to heavy rain this morning as they predicted. I wonder how long it will last.