T is now back at her school for 2 weeks of "kaytana" (summer camp - extra help in math, english and grammer). Two nights ago she asked me to bring her some clothes and food and things. I went to the school and while I was handing her the things, she gave me a look and said, "I need to talk to you." She said her Dad's wife had just called her and after pretending to be concerned and nice had started in on her about considering going to a non-religious school next year: "What makes you think you'll be able to finish there with a full matriculation? We're a religious family. Me and your father don't agree that you go there! You'll start wearing mini-skirts and find a boyfriend." Etc. Etc. You get the gist. T was crying as she was telling me this. I wouldn't like to say what I felt like doing to my ex's wife at that moment. T said she told her step-mother, "I'm already feeling low and you want to discourage me even more??" Her step-mother said she and T's father are going to "make problems" over me wanting to put T in this non-religious vocational school.
I consulted with an attorney yesterday. He said unless I get formal written consent (which I doubt T's father will give), I could be in a lot of trouble if I put her in the other school. He said if the parents can't agree, then social services should be called in. I told him we don't have time for all that. It's summer. Half the country is on vacation and in the meantime, the schools we've applied to want answers...yes or no. They're not going to hold T's spot for her.
I called my ex yesterday morning at 6:30 am and we talked until 7:45 am! I talked him through my thought processes and how I came to feel that WIZO was probably the better choice for her at this stage despite it not being a religious school. Bottom line, he thinks he and I both need to go into GW (the religious school she was in this year) and convince them to let her stay. I told him if I thought that was what she wanted, I would have no problem doing that. But to convince them to let her stay and then watch her fail or be on the bottom of the pile academically and suffer from low-self-esteem b/c of it.........when she could study a vocation she enjoys and that she'd be good at - THAT is what motivates kids.
He was saying she should stay where she is and HE will come help her study (like he has time!), or he will pay someone to help her study (he claims he doesn't have money for child support so where is he getting money for private lessons all of a sudden?). (He also said he was a terrible student as well and look, he turned out a LAWYER and if he can then so can she. THAT sounds to me an awful lot like his ego talking.) It's all bullshit but I didn't say anything. Bottom line, I told him, "Right now, nothing is finalized either way. I'm waiting for T to finish these two weeks of "summer camp" at her school and then the three of us can talk again. I want to hear from her how she feels about it all, where she would prefer to be, what SHE wants and then we will decide." I told him that whether he likes it or not, T isn't 2 anymore and has ideas and opinions of her own and anything that is forced on her - whether it be staying where she is or him bringing her to live with him and enrolling her near him - is not going to be met with much, if any, cooperation from her.
The saga continues......
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