A Kinder Way to Live

Y + E hugging this morning in the kitchen - AWWWW

DH and I are at odds on our views regarding E still having a pacifier at the age of two. DH grudgingly "permits" E to have it to sleep with but insists that E discard it as soon as he opens his eyes and gets out of bed which most of the time he does. E seems to understand - most of the time - that once he gets out of bed it's more of a hinderance to communication than anything else and that he no longer needs it and he's just fine going through the day without it. He NEVER leaves the house with it.

But there are some times - like yesterday - where E wakes up on the wrong side of the bed, in a foul mood, and giving him the pacifier calms him down and makes the pre-school, pre-gan rush more peaceful and pleasant so I don't mind letting him have the pacifier for a few minutes longer than usual. Yesterday, DH went balistic, yanked the pacifier out of E's mouth which made E hysterical. I found DH's behaviour over the issue to be very unkind and I told him that I think there is a gentler, kinder way to live. I don't think DH understands how strong the sucking instinct is in babies and very young children. I think he is bothered by E having it because he sees it as "not manly" or something. E also has a habit of biting his fingernails which makes me think that maybe THIS particular child does need a pacifier still. With Y, we took the pacifier away when she was about one year old and she never looked back. But each kid is so individual and I don't think you can make a hard and fast rule that "At age one we take the pacifier away. Period." Might work. Might not.

Today as well, E hung on to the pacifier even after he was out of bed. DH started getting wound up again so I just calmly took E into his room and told him to throw the pacifier and his blankie into his bed which he was very happy to do. He threw them both with gusto and we were both able to cheer and I was able to tell him what a big boy he was and how he didn't need them any more because he was going to gan and the whole episode ended without a tear and on a much more positive note.

I do not intend for E to be a six year old still walking around with a pacifier. I find that weird and somehow freakish too. I think that his third birthday is a reasonable target to aim for in having him weaned from it. I really don't think it's a big deal.

Now I just need to get some Valium for DH.........LOL.