My oldest daughter, T (age 15), is my true Israeli. She doesn't speak English although she understands some. I know the English she hears us speaking at home is being stored away and will pop out later in life when she's in a situation where she needs it (job, university - whatever). Living in close proximity to each other 24/7 like we do in a smallish apartment often serves to magnify the stupid (and sometimes not so stupid) little things about her personality or lifestyle that bother/annoy me. Plus, being her mother, I suppose I am not the most objective judge of character. Or maybe I am? I don't know. I often don't approve of how she dresses although it could be a LOT worse. I sometimes do like the music she listens to but in small doses. She's now wanting a small stud nose ring in her nose. All connotations aside, the truth is that I think a small sparkle in her nose would suit her but of course I can't tell HER that.
Then there are days like yesterday where she gives me opportunities to take a step back and look at the Big Picture.
The first instance of this was when she told us that she was on the bus to school yesterday morning and the bus hit the car in front of it. The driver had to hit the brakes HARD but still hit the car. She said just before this happened a little old lady had gotten on and sat down in the front seat behind the driver. She said when the driver hit the brakes, the little old lady went rolling - literally - and was lying on the floor of the bus saying her back and neck hurt. T said she didn't know how to help the lady and was scared to try to move her. She said, "Ima, I felt so bad for her I wanted to cry." Eventually T and some other passengers got the lady up and seated in a seat and I don't know what happened to her in the end. But it warmed my heart to see how empathic T was towards this lady and how she was involved in helping her to the extent that she could.
It is at times like this that I say to myself, "OK. Let's get our priorities straight here. Does it really matter what she wears or what kind of music she listens to? Yes, those things irk me at times. But in my book, the most important thing is that she not lose her humanity or her empathy skills."
The second instance of her kindheartedness occurred last night. She and I had a P/T meeting at her school which went better than I'd anticipated. From there we took the bus home. The bus was rather full and there was a mother with several kids and a double stroller on the bus. The bus arrived at the stop where this mother wanted to get off and T jumped to help her get the stroller off the bus onto the sidewalk. She could have been oblivious and self-absorbed. But she was awake and aware and it warmed my heart to see that.
She made me proud yesterday.
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